Monday, December 11, 2017

More than

I am not just good pussy
I am soul food and eye candy 
I am the soft sweet voice in your ear telling you to keep going 
I am the heart of this union
I am the dollar stretcher when times are tight but you’ll never feel lesser 
I am Oshun I can double whatever you give me, even in misery
I am thick warm thighs on cold nights
I am your friends saying “Damn that’s you man?”
I am clean house, cooked food, and home made baked treats
I am the hood you escaped from and the suburban utopia you crave
I am yin to your yang
I am comfortable in strip clubs, your grandmas church, and the state dinner. 
I am a citizen of world 
I am soulful 
I am woman complicated yet simple
I am the prize 
I am the reason you smile when you look at your phone 
I am discernment 
I am more woman than you thought you can handle and in me every woman you’ll ever need 
I am soft enough to cuddle with yet hard enough to lean on
I am your rib
I am the deluxe apartment in the sky after the scratching and surviving 
I am your favorite song on repeat
I am goals
I am comfort from this mean world
I am prayer partner, sage lighter, and light healer
I’m with the shit
I am the heavy hitter, the money getter, and the truth spitter
I am more than just good pussy

Friday, December 1, 2017

I guess I’ll start with HIM

So the best part of having a blog that is not popular or followed by many people is I can be as real and as forthcoming as I want to be and no one will judge me Because no one is here. 🎊🎉

The past year has been tumultuous. It has been mind blowing. It’s been rule breaking. it has been heartbreaking. It has been a beautiful disaster. It’s been a huge mirror making me look not only at others but at myself. 

I don’t even know where to start. So I guess I’ll start with him. 

But first a disclaimer of sorts. I am still here, still alive, still loving, still me despite this series of posts. I won’t allow anything to change my core. Although at times I will sound like I strongly dislike a lot of the characteristics I possess. 

So about my type.. I am 5’10” 1/2 maybe a quarter of an inch or so shorter because of gravity, age, and bone density. If I am attracted to men they are usually at least 6’3” or taller. It’s really serious y’all,  I don’t even solidify a celebrity crush until I find out his approximate height. 

So in August I started having interesting Instagram dm conversation with a friend of a friend. Because lawsuits are real thing let’s call him Eric. 

Eric is 5’5”, although he claims 5’7”, of wonderfulness. He is
chivalrous and muscular and sexy and educated. He’s passionate, caring, and just a wonderful piece of God’s love on this earth. 

 He is also a man ,insert eye roll here. He is short, so hey Napoleon complex. He’s polyamorous. He’s unemotional with me. Although I have no proof of it, I am 100% sure that he or someone in his direct lineage is responsible for a good I/3 of the Kama Sutra. 

So I know Eric through a young lady we will call her Eileen and she knows Eric in the biblical sense. Be a dear and put a pin in that won’t you? 

So Eric and I begin to talk, flirt, and have a really great conversations which I desperately needed. We have what I think is a connection.  Sheesh!!! This is such a hard thing to write because I have so much to say but I will stay focused on Eric. 

So in the course of chatting with Eric over about a week or two we decide or better yet, he decides, because I’m a demure lady (Yes I type that and what?)  that we’re going to go out for a date. 

I feel like I should  tell you that it’s in the course of the week or two of dm’s, texting, and shower FaceTimes Jesus, I am sprung. 

Back to the date because clearly I get sidetracked. We meet at a cute restaurant is in Washington DC. He smells delicious. He looks amazing, I am cute because duh. I am nervous. I am scared. I am bold. I am on the  second first date of my life with a man, like what is life. I happy discover  that the feelings that I had via technology are here in the flesh as well. Because as we all know sometimes the vibe does not cross over when you’re in person.

We talk. We eat. We laugh. The date   is damn near over he says something about how the night is great and he wish it didn’t end. Somehow that was my cue in my warped imagination to say it doesn’t have to end. Yes you read that right. I, the former Lesbian, on a first date with a man that I have known for two weeks basically said “hey this night doesn’t have to end and if you would like to have coitus, I too would like that.” 😳

On the drive to his house I was questioning my entire life as we talked and laughed and flirted. I never regretted what I said just super shocked that I said it. And from the expression on his face I can say without doubt that he too was shocked that I said it. 

Now once we get to his house I won’t bore you with the details because you can guess what happened because it has happened to you and to me hell it is happened to every person who is not a virgin. I will say is this though that night and the ones that followed, because ain’t God alright, were the best nights of sex I have ever had in my entire life. I had an out of body experience. I saw Jesus and God. Allah and  Buddha.  I sat down with the aliens and talked about race and inter species  relations in 25 century America. I cried Twice. It was glorious. Whew Chile *fans self*

Now gentle person you gotta know this won’t end well. I know it won’t end well but I dove in head first anyway. 


Tuesday, August 29, 2017

eclipse

Just days after the eclipse
as the galaxy's was realigning itself
I found a new planet
A place I will call Home
for the foreseeable future
I dropped my possessions 
on the cool brown surface
the air here is so rare
that I struggle to breathe
and feel constantly lightheaded
My eyes are feasting on so many new wonders
as I walked around
I met a man
Maybe he is My Adam in this eden
or maybe just a traveler searching for pieces of him
as I was searching for pieces of me
either way he took my hand
looked into my soul 
and without words
he told me to follow him
and I did
Happily

Image result for eclipse pictures getty

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Sometimes

sometimes its all just to much
I'm not asking for the world
Or vast sums of money
I'm asking to be Loved
But if you want something done right
Do It yourself

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Things Fall Apart

I stared at this blank page, teary eyed, for at least 10 minutes. Things fall apart. Marriages break up. People leave. Jobs go. Health declines. Love ones die. What I know for sure is that things do fall apart.. They have always fallen apart. they always will fall apart.. The good news is that I know that when things fall apart they always seem to come back together.. Always teaching me something new and necessary.
 
Doesn't mean I don't hurt though

More than

I am not just good pussy I am soul food and eye candy  I am the soft sweet voice in your ear telling you to keep going  I am the heart...