OK Life repeats itself.... If the lesson is not learned or in some cases even if it is..... Life repeats itself!
As we know (via this mornings' email) I am trying to help a friend... overcome some ish... While speaking with my Homegirl ( Hey!!!) she astutely reminded me that I too did not, could not, would not listen to her reasoning and opinions.. When i was going thru a similar situation over a decade ago.....
After we hung up... The Secret Garden came on the radio..... Are you serious????? That song make my private playground moist!!! Then my phone rings ( now if you really know me, you know I had no earthly business answering that phone, after seeing who was calling) but I did.. And after 1minute and 29seconds of chit chat.. ( and yes I timed it) Life repeats itself...
Over a decade I was really into someone.... J was the ish... the ish!!! But J had Hoes in different area codes.. But I was ( and still am) soooooooooo Fabulous and mesmerizing... I was going to put and end ro all of that!!!! I wanted, waited, and dehumanized myself... Accepting treatment I would never accept and would laugh at you for accepting... Long story short... I left J alone...took my power back.. Love me more than J ( for once) then all of a sudden, who has time for me, treats me with care, kindness, love, passion????? You guessed it J... But by that time I had no Love or any other emotion for them...
Fast forward a decade... I am Happily married... Content, loved, and adored... I met D... Damn.... D is.... There is no word in the english or ebonic dictionary to describe D..D makes me feel things.. I know I shouldn't be feeling... makes me want things I know I shouldn't want.. D treats me like ish... ... but I still wanted D so much... to do what was the question... LoL...
J was like a drug... So is D... J made me feel so many thins... So does D... J took me in thier arms and kissed me... So did D... The difference is J was and D is... It is so hard to detox....
I know, I know...Love yourself first... But my body and mind play tricks on me...... I want D in my life so bad.. I want to dance in a club with D... I wanna go to the movies with D... I want to laugh, talk, cuddle with D.... I want to wake up with D.... Now here is the B S... Not all the time just sometimes... I don't want to be D's woman... just a best friend with benefits....Lol
What I really want is to be free of D just as I wanted to be free of J... but everytime i try to leave... they both knew to act right.....
Kisses
No comments:
Post a Comment