HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Okay so as I sit here with my coffee coolata and chocolate frosted donut.. An Associate of mine is starting her weightloss journey.. I too would like to lose 20-30lbs.. Of course I want to stay Curvy but these thighs could choke a BEAR!!!!!!! GASP!!!!!!

However I have every excuse in the book for not doing so..

Then I realized I have alot of excuses.. for alot of things.. W O W!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats Not Good!!!!! Like My excuses have Excuses..HMMMMMMM Not what I wont do is cheat myself.. but in all areas I have been..

Gotta fix that RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

So Today Right now at 9:50 am on July 30, 2009 I officially DECLARE THAT I AM AN EXCUSE-FREE ZONE!!!!!!!!

Tattoo

TATTOO
your love
is like a
Tattoo
I knew it would hurt
from the 1st time
I saw you

when i got you that
text that said
I wanna see you
but you know its
late dot dot dot
my heart kinda stopped
I thought I was a Big girl
that night
I saw the bait
and took a bite

your love is like a tattoo
I knew it would be beautiful
on your couch hand on my knee
I felt your eyes on me
saw that your needle was ready
to put that ink on me
it hurt
I cried
you kissed it to make it better
I moaned and sighed

Your love is like a Tattoo
it hurts sometimes and its absoutely beautiful
but I wear it proudly
it is seen by others
admired
folks asks me how long Ive had
do I like
and where they can get one just like it
Your love is like a tattoo
it will last forever
even when I am in my grave
your tattoo will remain

Thoughts

I cant believe I am here
looking myself in the mirror
eyes red
face wet
nose runnin
mind racing
heart pacin
pondering if we are
all we said we would be
Yew we are
I cant believe this is happening to me
in this way
in this package
this fast

I see love and hope
I feel lust and safe
I hear all the right words
I taste you
I smell your maleness

KP sleeps
PK is coma
had to hit that bitch with a boulder
how did we get here
who cares
all that matters is
here and
now and
Our future

all our secrets lay bare
all of me is raw
tired of being who folks wanted
me to be

I am me
funny
sad
happy
lust filled
wet
silly
serious
open
talkative
me

No shields
no masks
no thinking bout the past
just me
raw
straight
untampered with
me

I have a long way to go
but I aint where I was

if I fall will you catch me?
If I bleed will you comfort me?
If I cry would you care?

I am ready are you?

This is more of a declaration than a letter. I am declaring that you and I will be US. Now I am not doing this in some crazy Glen Close in Fatal Attraction way, but what I am doing is taking the Question off of the table..

I am here.

I am Not Afraid.

I will be here (in 3 months and in 30 years.)

Loving You.

Being sexually free with you.

Supporting You.

Encouraging you.

Indulging you.

Supplying you.

Being Faithful to you.

Believing in you.

Spoiling you.

Sexing you.

Educating you.

Being the Queen to your King.

Being open to you.

Exploring with you.

Submitting to you.

Pleasing you.

Choosing to Love You and Only you everyday.

Communicating with you.

Sharing you.

Laughing with you.

Being the woman that you can live your dreams and share your nightmares with.

Being the woman that you can take to church on Sunday, the club on Friday, to dinner with your family on Tuesday, out with your crew on Wednesday, to the strip club on Thursday, to Bible study on Saturday and a business dinner on Monday; feeling proud, honored, and comfortable to have me by your side at each place.

Being the woman that will Cook your food, Wash your Clothes, Clean your house, Work a 9-5, Finish my undergrad (and Graduate) degrees and Birth your Babies all while looking Pretty, Hot, And Tempting in heels, make-up, clothes, and fabulous hair.

Respecting you.

Honoring you.

I could go on but I wont!! However there is a catch---- I need these things reciprocated.

I feel things for you that I have never felt before. I have never let anyone in this far although there is much more to see; would you like to come inside

Playa President or Heaven Sent

what have you done to me
got me going crazy
am I living a fantasy?
reaching for you in my sleep
your kisses make my knees week
begging for you to go deep
got me glowing like a christmas tree
this must be voodoo
that you are doing to me
got me singing love songs
wanting to make love all night long
I wan to give birth to lil you's
WTF not me
you must have me confused with someother
chick
I dont do dick
This baby says jump
I scream how high
I can really kiss the sky
floating on clouds
I dont want to come down
Begging you as you make me scream
Please Daddy
pick me
love me
Be mine
Like meredith on grey's anatomy
Got me saying
dont go
I love you
I'm all yours
its all yours
so I'll ask again
are you the Playa's President
or
Are you Heaven Sent?

Please Baby?

I am going say this
I know I am going to regret it
maybe regret is a bad word but here it goes
I love You
I am in love with You
I choose to love you everyday
in everyway imaginable
I like you
I lust after you
nightly daily

Now you are all of the things
and I do mean
ALL of the things that I prayed for
a secret pray that nobody knew but me and God
Baby
I know it has been a short time
but it is what it is
I have been begging you in words and actions
to be with me
to be mine to
To put your worries down
I am not her
She is not me
You are not the you
you were
Baby lets do
do all those things that we are scared to do
just do them
Do I want to
walk down the
aisle no
not this year or next
but 2011 looks good for me
are you free?
Baby just do it
Come into my arms
I have exposed parts of myself that I didnt even know were there
I wanna be with you
I am ready
Now wait
I know that this is alot for us to swallow
but people just dont feel like this everyday
life doesnt feel this good every day
but it feels really really good when we are together
in person
on the phone
im'in
I was thinking that
I was crazy for lack of a better term
but I'm not
I am not in love by myself
unless you were lying
and you couldnt be
Pychotic maybe
Cause who in their right can make their eyes dance
and kiss me like that
and Say "BabyGirl, I been waiting to tell you this for a long time
I Love You"

So Take the next step
Tell me its all mine
For all time
Please Baby?

This is Love?!?!?!?

She let's him lead
as she happily follows
She doesnt remember yesterday
all she sees is tomorrow
she wants to make him scream
as she sucks and swallows

In love is she with him
not just for right now
but until the wheels fall off
and after that maybe she'll just ride on the rims
not because her clothes fell off
and her shoes stayed on
or as he kissed all of her lips
he played all her favorite songs

But because her mind and soul
goes off everytime he talks
like bombs in Bagdad
she never knew somebody could
get her that fast
have her this bad
make her this sprung
Have her acting so dumb

She is me
you are him
but will we
be us
till ashes to ashes
and dust to dust
Or will tomorrow
as quick as he came
he will disappear
leaving her with nothing
more than him saying
Cum for Daddy
in her ear

Who knows
who cares
all I know is
I'm grateful
for each Im
Each touch
each kiss