Ode to insomnia

This is our thing

I'm here

Wishing you away

You're as mysterious 

As always

Playing with me

Popping up 

Just when I think we are done

You tempt me

Then vanish

Tonight feels

Different

Somehow

I'm not sure

If I even care anymore

Your appearance 

Will be short

After you leave

Which will be soon

I will be a bit grumpy

But I'll survive

If you pop up again

I will pray

Or read 

Or play

I'm finally over you

So sleep 

No sleep

Tomorrow will be fine

Waiting

Wanting 

Needing

Yearning

For you

What should I do?

I've been 

In this same spot

With my torn heart

Just for you

It's true

I've been waiting 

Tick tock 

Tick tock

The clock 

Keeps on moving

But I can't go

I'm still here 

Waiting 

Some days you breathe me in

Like a sweet perfume

And then you go away

That's not what you're suppose to do

I'm always here

You always there

But here I stay

Waiting 

I'm beautiful

I can fufill your needs 

I am everything

If you could only see

I'm here waiting

Tick tock

Tick tock

The clock 

Keeps moving

You are doing 

Nothing to keep me here

I want to walk away

But my feet 

Won't obey 

I'm still here

Waiting 

Insomnia Incoherencies

So after battling what I assumed to be a migraine (although it could have been a symptom of my hypertension) all day which means I took copious amounts of meds and caffeine I can't sleep. Womp Womp. 

While laying in the bed listening to the sweet sounds of my King's snore (thankfully one of us is asleep) I have made mile long to do list. Decorated our home several times (we so need new furniture.) Made myself hungry by figuring out this weeks meals. Deleted my Facebook page for the third time this years (DJM).  

One great thing ,well maybe two, although both are fattening and expensive that I've decided to do was cook <<<<~~~ which is calming at times. I used to love to cook. And try my hand in DIY projects. 

Wait. Is that the sandman calling me??

Gotta go. 

❤️

Puzzling

I know what's important 

Who is important

What I want

I even know my purpose (I think)

So when a piece of the puzzle

Doesn't fit

Or is lost

Or seems out of place

I try to make it work

I give it "all she's got captain" (I just watched Star Trek)

But if it's not working

Then I move on

One piece will not ruin 

The Entire picture

The puzzle may even change

And I too may evolve

But if that piece 

causes me 

too much grief

I'm done

Not with the puzzle

But with making that piece

Fit in

Thoughts of You

The thought of you

Laying on your bed 

Smiling

Breathless

Horny

Im Slightly drunk

You're Glistening 

We're Sexy

You're Naked

Waiting on me

Pulling me closer with your eyes

Is a dance we dance

Sometimes you lead I follow

Most time I lead you follow

Hesitantly 

We know its wrong

We can't seem to do right 

We stop dancing for a while

Then on lonely

Horny

Drunk

Nights

When the cloak of morality

Is not draped across our shoulders

We pick up right where we left off 

You pop in my mind

At the most awkward times

No matter how hard I pray

Wish

Hope

Cry

Beg

Those images

And my desire

For you will not fade 

My dreams are filled 

With visions of you

Loving me

Kissing me

Fucking me

Talking to me

Never in all my years of life

Have I needed someone like this

It's beyond me

Why 

With all that we've been through

As must as we try not to 

we continually 

Do this dance

You want me

I need you

You say no

I say I probably should not

Yet 1-2 times a month 

Like clockwork

We are fantasizing 

Masturbating 

Plotting

And scheming to be together 

I don't want to do this dance anymore

I want to enjoy 

Whatever this is

For as long as I can

Is it wrong?

Yes

But this connection

Has bound us 

We seem unable to free from it

And sometime I don't want to

But this dance is getting old

And Honesty too

The intruding alarm woke Honesty James out of a wonderful dream. She brushed her chestnut locs out of face and peeked at the 

clock. 5:15 glowed at her in the darkness. "Oh shit" she mumbled. Her new work out plan would have to wait til the next week. 

As she beckoned sleep to come her way she thought about the caramel dream she meet at Cup and Saucer coffee shop two days before.  Troy was the name his smooth voice echoed as they chatted while waiting for their drinks to be made. 

She had never seen a specimen like him before. 6'5 the color of light and sweet coffee, bald headed, a smile to light her way out of the darkness. She literally shivered when their hand touched when they exchanged business cards. 

It had been 5 years since Jeff broke her heart along with her nose, right arm, and 3 ribs. After 2 years of counseling and therapy she moved to Miami shortly after. 

And Troy seemed like just the right way to get her feet wet well not just her feet

That's that shit I don't like

So after having pretty major surgery and being out of work for 5 weeks without benefit of short term disability (because of my company's size) I return to work two weeks ago ready to hit the ground. I was working my ample butt off.

So imagine my surprise yesterday at being fired... Womp Womp

Really?

And the cherry on top, "we were going to let you go in July but didn't want the stress of having no job impede your recovery."

The Fuck??