A newly emotional, introverted extrovert, who occasionally writes, and loves the wrong people.
Monday, April 30, 2012
The chase
Is it the chase?The chase is what makes it interesting isn't it?Perhaps it was never entirely a fair game cause he made me chase him knowing I wouldn't catch himbetter yet when I thought I was close to catching himHe changed the rules on me.Perhaps a chemistry this strong was never meant to be.Perhaps its just the chase that he enjoyedWhen I was falling in love with himHe was just playing the gameI would never change the rules up on himI would let him catch mehave meand all my complexitiesBut again its just the chase
Saturday, April 28, 2012
What manner of fuckery is this???
I miss you
Desperately
I long for the touch
Your lips against mine
I dream of us locked
In a rhythm of passion
Struggle to remove you
From my thoughts
When you touch me
I taste colors
Sweet blues
Sour blacks
And salty whites
You dance on my tongue
Like golden cavair
Rare and exotic
I close my eyes
And savor you
For as long as I can
Before I'm force to swallow
After I'm left famished
And saddened again
My soul aches at our parting
Your neglect of me
Of my feelings
My wants
And needs
Is not only heart breaking
But Devastating
And confusing
Like I was imaging
You wanting me
And the kisses and moments
We shared were mere figments
Of my imagination
I am not whole
Without you
My only question is
What manner of fuckery is this
Saturday, April 21, 2012
So Now What????????
What am I suppose to do now?
Is the question that haunts my sleep
the question that makes my stomach do flips
mind racing
no releif
or answer in sight
Wondering how I'm suppose to
move on from this
I know this take time
but time is not a luxury
at my diposal
It at this moment
I remember that every
pleasure and pain
has a reason attatched
le sigh
Thursday, April 19, 2012
A.Y.F.K.M
In my current emotional state
Jill Scott Make me weep.. Not Cry WEEP.. In public, in private, and all places in between..
Jay-Z Makes me angry cause I use to have things but I know I don't and I use to be ok with not having but now I'm Not
Biggie Makes me wanna kick in the door and wave in the 44.. On two people. One gets it cause I love them the other one because I love the first one.. Crazy I know
Jaime Foxx Settles me.. A lil party a lil sex No Love..
I take full responsibility for my current predicament.. There is No One else to blame
and trust me I have searched for someone else.. I have no clue as to the lesson in this mess. I wish it was more apparent but its not..
As Always I know that I will Land on my feet and I will be ok..
What am I suppose to do NOW is the question that haunts my sleep..
Xo
K
Monday, April 16, 2012
I need a Hit
You are addictive
like the first potato chip
or the first crack pipe hit
or that first grand of trap money
You got me leaning
sniffing
and wishing
for another Dose of you
I dream of you
in color
nightly
Ravaging me or I you?
I dont know
I just see skin
hear moans
Feel my hands as they claw
for your heart through your back
and feel the heat of Us
Newly done hair dripping with sweat
Not caring
Eyes filled with tears
My lips ache for the touch of yours
Knees grow weak at the memory of you
Stomach has knots as big as economy sized cars
need to form a support group
like the first potato chip
or the first crack pipe hit
or that first grand of trap money
You got me leaning
sniffing
and wishing
for another Dose of you
I dream of you
in color
nightly
Ravaging me or I you?
I dont know
I just see skin
hear moans
Feel my hands as they claw
for your heart through your back
and feel the heat of Us
Newly done hair dripping with sweat
Not caring
Eyes filled with tears
My lips ache for the touch of yours
Knees grow weak at the memory of you
Stomach has knots as big as economy sized cars
need to form a support group
I know there are others
Feeling what I feel for you
Eyes open
I turn my head towards the clock
Its dark still dark
birds have not awaken to sing
Sun has not found its way to its proper place in the sky
but my heart is searching for you
I need a hit
but the dope man is gone
I text him
hoping to get more
of that raw
uncut
pure
good shit
but he said
my currecy
is no longer accepted
My line of credit rejected
declined
unwanted
damn
But I need a hit
quick
I'm fading
replaying
all of the events of us
Eyes open
I turn my head towards the clock
Its dark still dark
birds have not awaken to sing
Sun has not found its way to its proper place in the sky
but my heart is searching for you
I need a hit
but the dope man is gone
I text him
hoping to get more
of that raw
uncut
pure
good shit
but he said
my currecy
is no longer accepted
My line of credit rejected
declined
unwanted
damn
But I need a hit
quick
I'm fading
replaying
all of the events of us
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Tears *STOLEN*
The truth of the matter is......somewhere in the world a woman is shedding tears OVER A MAN. Most women have had their moment. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day a woman is shedding tears over a man. Professional woman, teenage mom, college student and retired teachers alike have all shared the burden of caring so much for one person that without thought that person can bring you to the brink of tears. With a careless word, a callous hand or a thoughtless heart, we can go from STRONG, INDEPENDENT, WELL ROUNDED woman to a WILTED, HEAPING, MESS. Whether you shed your tears at home in the dark or let them flow freely for all to see, you know the heart wrenching pain of being hurt by a man that they loved so hard or even one that they cared for just a little.
AND for those who have not shared their tears, I say....don't worry, Someone has cried enough for you. To those blessed women, it pains me to say...your time is coming Maybe. Your nights filled with tears and days filled with thoughts will come before you know it.
But oh the good news! For every tear-filled night and dreary morning, you will have those days when you experience the Glory of God. You will have those days of waking up KNOWING that God has blessed you with great character, unbreakable spirit and a beautiful heart. If you are fortunate, you will not let the pain stop you from loving. Regardless of the pain, your heart, soul and mind was created to show the glory of God through love. Love hard, cry hard and allow yourself to be loved in return
AND for those who have not shared their tears, I say....don't worry, Someone has cried enough for you. To those blessed women, it pains me to say...your time is coming Maybe. Your nights filled with tears and days filled with thoughts will come before you know it.
But oh the good news! For every tear-filled night and dreary morning, you will have those days when you experience the Glory of God. You will have those days of waking up KNOWING that God has blessed you with great character, unbreakable spirit and a beautiful heart. If you are fortunate, you will not let the pain stop you from loving. Regardless of the pain, your heart, soul and mind was created to show the glory of God through love. Love hard, cry hard and allow yourself to be loved in return
Gone
I am not use the this
my feelings are usually
reciprocated
My expectations of what this would look like
don't quite match up to reality
As much as I want you
to have a special place in my world
My will is not that strong
You too must desire it
Here I am
my calls unanswered
texts get no reply
lips unkissed
scents of you not smelt
my thirst not quenched
Knowingly I stepped into this
Both eyes open but not seeing the signs
mind racing but clear
feet firmly planted in the foundation of your lies
Heart and other body parts
at your immediate disposal
where did I sign up for
this at?
What part of the invisible fine print
was this in?
I know without a shadow of a doubt
I am not the only one
vying for a position in your air
I don't pretend to know how
all of what I have planned for us is going to pan out
My mind and body have conspired against me
making you the only source of viability
I understand Now
that the S on your chest is there
for Good reason
You have powers that are
Magnetic
body tingling
and
mind consuming
But remember that with great Power
comes great responsibility
my feelings are usually
reciprocated
My expectations of what this would look like
don't quite match up to reality
As much as I want you
to have a special place in my world
My will is not that strong
You too must desire it
Here I am
my calls unanswered
texts get no reply
lips unkissed
scents of you not smelt
my thirst not quenched
Knowingly I stepped into this
Both eyes open but not seeing the signs
mind racing but clear
feet firmly planted in the foundation of your lies
Heart and other body parts
at your immediate disposal
where did I sign up for
this at?
What part of the invisible fine print
was this in?
I know without a shadow of a doubt
I am not the only one
vying for a position in your air
I don't pretend to know how
all of what I have planned for us is going to pan out
My mind and body have conspired against me
making you the only source of viability
I understand Now
that the S on your chest is there
for Good reason
You have powers that are
Magnetic
body tingling
and
mind consuming
But remember that with great Power
comes great responsibility
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